Bismillah
To all my dear sisters Ramadan Mubarak May Allah SWT give you the strength to perform every deed that will get you close to Allah SWT , May Allah SWT forgive your sins , may this Ramadan be the one that will transform you to the best you can be. Ameen.
Let me be a bit vulnerable with you 3 years ago. I remember having a new born baby , a 12 months old baby girl & on top of that, school kids as well. It was not easy and at times I felt everyone was doing better than me in terms of ibadah.
Fast forward to now I have a preschooler , a toddler, a teen , pre- teen & in between. So you can see that I get pulled daily to all different directions.
So I thought to share with you all mothers out there having similar situations or even close to it so you know that there are others on the same boat as you. It will make you feel better trust me.
To start with, let me remind you that Ramadan is a month of mercy , a month where the doors of heaven are opened , the doors of hell are locked & the devils are chained as it was narrated in this authentic Hadith.
Abu Huraira reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “When the month of Ramadan begins, the gates of the heaven are opened and the gates of Hellfire are closed and the devils are chained” Sahih Bukhari & Muslim
So really you have the best opportunity to perform as many good deeds as you can by the grace of Allah SWT, but many mothers once they have little beings running around & the responsibility of taking care of them plus doing as much Ibadah as possible can feel like a heavy mountain on their shoulders. True ?!
Well it can be if you don’t have the right mindset to face this phase of your life. So let’s dive into some practical tips in order for you to have the best Ramadan with those amazing lovely creatures in your home.
1: Rely on Allah SWT.
Sometimes as humans we tend to forget that we are created weak.
Allah SWT said : “ And Allah wants to lighten for you [your difficulties]; and mankind was created weak.” Surat An -Anissa, verse 28
So you were created weak in order for you to turn to The one who created you , ask him for assistance, make duaa to give you strength to raise these children & bring them up to be those who will benefit their Ummah & the mankind in general.
2: Set your Intention .
The prophet peace be upon him said in this noble Hadith that we are all familiar with : “ Verily, deeds are judged with intentions. Verily, every person will have only what they intended”
So try to have intention for every deed you perform starting from cooking a meal for your family , playing with your children , studying…ect inshallah Allah SWT will reward you for it, if solely you are doing it for his sake.
3: Don’t compare your life now with the past.
This is the biggest trap we all fall into thinking we were better off in the past than now , because we can’t perform much ibadah due to our children.
Well tell me what’s the definition of ibadah from your perspective?
Is it just reading too much of the Quran ?! Or going to tarweeh ?! Or doing itekaf ?!
Absolutely no , the definition of ibadah is far greater than that . Ibn Taymiyyah defined ibadah as “a comprehensive noun encompassing everything that Allah loves and is pleased with – whether saying, or actions, outward and inward.”
So if you do dikir all day , while cooking , cleaning ..ect you are performing ibadah. You don’t have to wait for the perfect time where everything is quiet , in a room by yourself , with your prayer mat & mushaf. Make use of every minute this is what I call “ killing one bird with two stones.
If you find that perfect time which you will have some days, that’s another bonus. Thank Allah SWT for it, but if you didn’t let it not stress you & make you worthless.
4: Plan your day
There’s no doubt when you plan your day including meals , house chores & your to do list will make your life less stressful. My tip is to finish everything before kids are home from school or napping so you can have some time after iftar for yourself. Eg try not to prepare for iftar at the same time of their study , or their play time and so on, there were times I’ve done that it just made me stressed & i stressed everyone else in the house.
5: Seek assistance from others.
When things get messy , tough & out of control don’t push your limits and ask for help. It’s that simple 
You don’t have to be the superhero that saves the day. I know you will probably get sick of me repeating this topic over & over. But I’ll keep talking about it openly till all mothers start putting themselves first & involve other family members abroad to help them.
6: Have some “ me” time
Try to have a day where you can go to a group iftar with friends or if there’s fundraising, especially those meetings that will be beneficial , it will be a way to rejuvenate both spiritually & mentally.
7: Restrain your anger
I know there will be times when you try all of the above tips & you still want to scream your head off , in that case let me remind you & myself the Hadith of our beloved “ When anyone of you is observing fast, he should neither indulge in obscene language nor should he raise his voice; and if anyone reviles him or tries to quarrel with him, he should say: ‘I am fasting”
( Al-Bukhari and Muslim)
Especially during the day in this blessed month.
8: Spare time for Duaa .
Make a list of duaa you want to ask Allah swt during this blessed month. Especially the times Allah SWT has granted his slaves to answer their duaa, which during iftaar & when you are performing qiyaam at night.
I hope those tips were helpful, may Allah SWT give us strength to bear this great amanah on our shoulders. Ameen